Kristina G.
Mighty Warrior
It’s been quite the year! One year ago today, 24 August 2021, I was admitted in hospital for the fight of my life. I had Severe Sepsis caused by a combination of Staphylococcus aureus and Klebsiella Pseudonyms due to an undiagnosed Urinary Tract Infection (UTI) and a blocked catheter. I have a precondition that requires that I have a catheter for the rest of my life. Unfortunately the combination of the 2 bacteria would rock my world more than I could have ever imagined.
I had been sick for about 8 months. About March, I was diagnosed with pre diabetes and insulin resistance requiring me to take Metformin. In the months leading up to my hospitalization I lost over 40lbs from the nausea and vomiting resulting in malnutrition as I was only able to drink 1 Ensure a day.
We’ve lost count of how many times I went to hospital between January and August including the 2 visits to emergency the week before I was finally admitted. I waited 72 hours in the emergency room before being admitted with Severe Sepsis. My body was weak and shutting down. Fortunately I don’t remember a lot of my time in the hospital with the infection.
In the hospital I was put on oxygen, a PICC line and heavy antibiotics. I had a feeding tube as the Sepsis had affected my ability to swallow and caused severe dehydration. I stayed in hospital about 5 1/2 weeks and was then transferred to rehabilitation. I had loss strength and muscle tone, suffered brain fog and memory loss, and I was losing my hair. Those are just a few symptoms that my husband shared with me. I spent 8 weeks in rehabilitation regaining my balance and strengthening my limbs. I had to relearn how to walk but my body was still weak.
After 8 weeks in rehab, Infectious Diseases decided I was not a good candidate for the reconstruction surgery I had hoped for. I had a history of reoccurring UTI infections before Sepsis, and the risks were far too high that I would be further plagued with infection. And because I had had sepsis, the risks involved with reinfection could be dangerous for me. It was decided that the best way forward was a radical Urostomy/Cystectomy surgery which I had Christmas Eve 2021. This was the best path forward with the safest long term outcomes for me.
Now 1 year later despite Post Sepsis Syndrome (PSS) affecting my day to day life. It’s been a long road but piece by piece I’m learning to find the new me and identity.
Yesterday to commemorate my day, I harvested a monarch butterfly to release in honour of my journey’s new beginning.
I wrote a poem/song to commemorate my journey to healing.
My Nightmare Reality
Kristina Giberson
(Intro)
I had no idea the battle ahead of me,
but it would leave me needing an array of therapies,
with the heat of my state mandating I learn,
not sure which way to turn as reality burns,
but God calls me a strong & mighty warrior,
a person that won’t let anything destroy her.
(Verse 1)
All my life I was stuck in a cocoon,
hiding away from the sun and the moon,
couldn't bare to face who I saw in the mirror,
as with everything my life was inferior,
I had no clue who I was meant to be,
or what was making up my identity,
then suddenly one evening I got a nasty fright,
too terrified I was to close my eyes on this night,
it started silently, quickly, and subtle,
but left me confused, lost, and muddled.
(Chorus)
Do I go left or do I go right,
can I find the light to combat this fight,
not a day goes by where it doesn't feel slow,
each moment passes I'm battling alone,
as I lie here in fright despite the fight of my might,
I ask, "Will I always be too afraid to close my eyes every night?"
(Verse 2)
Striking without warning, not a spark in sight,
I was hit with a battle I'd be fighting for life,
totally clueless of the struggle ahead,
and how close to being confronted by death,
as an infection began raging through the depth of my veins,
ensuring that forever my life would be changed,
as the days, weeks, and months went rolling on by,
I was still lying awake too terrified to close my eyes,
sending me deeper into dire straits,
I reminisce about the past with what future fate awaits.
(Chorus)
Do I go left or do I go right,
can I find the light to combat this fight,
not a day goes by where it doesn't feel slow,
each moment passes I'm battling alone,
as I lie here in fright despite the fight of my might,
I ask, "Will I always be too afraid to close my eyes every night?"
(Verse 3)
I was inundated with regular feeds,
too many tubes & countless IVs,
as God only knows what awaited my fate,
and how it would test a lifetime of faith,
but piece by piece it began to show me my stride,
there is no mistake this pain was justified,
while God guides my life so I can battle this tide,
wearing my ruby necklace as my medal of pride,
yes, inside I may hide while inside I will cry,
but I will always be blossoming as a beautiful butterfly.
(Bridge/Outro)
I now know my identity,
sharing my story with many,
so until the day God recalls me to up to Heaven,
I will fall six times and always get up seven.
